Someone just forwarded me this:

Twas The Diet After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, nothing would fit me,not even a blouse!
The cookies I’d nibbled,the eggnog I would taste at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared; the gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese… And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt and prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can”You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
So away with the last of the sour cream dip. Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip!
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished.” Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie – not even a lick. I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won’t have mulled wine, or mince tarts, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore. But isn’t that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Tags:   Humour · New YearNo Comments